Jared, our new CEO, is in a meeting room right next to my desk, talking with the notably older and more experienced CFO, John, about how best to communicate to the board the change in leadership. It was a shock to everybody; above all to Jared’s predecessor Dave, who had been in the middle of a conference call when Jared walked into his office and, without ceremony, impaled him with a sword.

I’m feeling hungry, so I go to my kitchen and turn on the stove. I inadvertently have the handle of the frying pan sitting above the flame and when I go to pick up the pan my entire hand melts off in an instant.

Looking down at my baby son as he wriggles and twists in my arms I think about all the things that a normal parent should be thinking: ‘what a beautiful boy’, ‘so much potential’, ‘I can’t wait until I no longer need to change his nappies’.

You: Good morning ChatGPT 6! Nice to meet you.

As I walked through the lonesome park I felt a presence at my side. A white glow heralded the entrance of an Angel into the material world and I turned and stared in disbelief at the (reasonably tall) angelic-looking man standing before me.

‘Our ad conversions are absolutely terrible’

I knew from day one that if we didn’t add Rust, Kafka, and Microservice to Clipbox’s architecture, we were f*cked.